April 9, 2019
So far so good. I keep reading articles of mono-mono twins. I've diverged from reading the most of the scary junk found by googling. Instead, I've begun to read medical journals and research abstracts. While the information that I'm getting may not be entirely what I want to hear, it is non-biased and without the emotional angst. For this I'm grateful.
One thing that I've found is that there are quite a few websites and social media that tend to promise support, but what I've found is that they are either outdated, inactive, or unresponsive. One social media group reported to be very active. I attempted to gain membership (it is a closed group), but I never heard from the moderator. I even tried to message her, but only silence was returned.
The lessons I'm learning...
1. God is in control. I know that throughout this pregnancy there is very little that I can do. I try to keep Brandi positive. I try to hide my concern from her. But ultimately, I've come to realize that God is in control of this situation. I had given my older two children to God at church when we did baby dedications. I've decided that the dedication of my two little girls will have to be much earlier. I give them to God to do with as He pleases. May He gain glory in their life no matter how short or long it may be.
2. People are people. When I share with others about the uniqueness of the pregnancy and the risks involved, I find that many people will minimize the situation and try to assure me that everything will be OK. There's a part of me that wants to punch them in the nose and tell them they don't know that they're talking about. From a spiritual perspective, yes, everything will be OK. See bullet point 1.
3. Prayer helps. My neighbor, with whom I've become close, leads a couple of Bible study groups. He also attends a different church than ours. Over the weekend he said, "Jared, you don't know how many people are praying for you guys out there. There are people you don't even know that are asking for God's intervention." My brother, who is a pastor at a local church informed me of the same thing. They're right. I don't know about all the prayers that are being lifted to God as we travel down this road. I know that God is able to save my girls. If He chooses to do so, then wonderful. If He chooses to take them Home, I'll cross that bridge as He leads. Simply knowing that people are praying for my wife and our girls is a great comfort to me. I read an abstract today on the psychosocial effects of aggressive early monitoring of mono-mono twins at an inpatient setting vs outpatient. In both groups there was reported high feelings of hopelessness, despair, and (in the outpatient group) guilt. I can't imagine someone going through this without God being with them. If you're going through this, turn to God. He is able to do anything. I'm not naively saying that God will grant you two healthy twins if you simply pray hard enough. No, I'm saying that He is a caring God and knows our pain, our anxieties, and our doubts.
So far so good. I keep reading articles of mono-mono twins. I've diverged from reading the most of the scary junk found by googling. Instead, I've begun to read medical journals and research abstracts. While the information that I'm getting may not be entirely what I want to hear, it is non-biased and without the emotional angst. For this I'm grateful.
One thing that I've found is that there are quite a few websites and social media that tend to promise support, but what I've found is that they are either outdated, inactive, or unresponsive. One social media group reported to be very active. I attempted to gain membership (it is a closed group), but I never heard from the moderator. I even tried to message her, but only silence was returned.
The lessons I'm learning...
1. God is in control. I know that throughout this pregnancy there is very little that I can do. I try to keep Brandi positive. I try to hide my concern from her. But ultimately, I've come to realize that God is in control of this situation. I had given my older two children to God at church when we did baby dedications. I've decided that the dedication of my two little girls will have to be much earlier. I give them to God to do with as He pleases. May He gain glory in their life no matter how short or long it may be.
2. People are people. When I share with others about the uniqueness of the pregnancy and the risks involved, I find that many people will minimize the situation and try to assure me that everything will be OK. There's a part of me that wants to punch them in the nose and tell them they don't know that they're talking about. From a spiritual perspective, yes, everything will be OK. See bullet point 1.
3. Prayer helps. My neighbor, with whom I've become close, leads a couple of Bible study groups. He also attends a different church than ours. Over the weekend he said, "Jared, you don't know how many people are praying for you guys out there. There are people you don't even know that are asking for God's intervention." My brother, who is a pastor at a local church informed me of the same thing. They're right. I don't know about all the prayers that are being lifted to God as we travel down this road. I know that God is able to save my girls. If He chooses to do so, then wonderful. If He chooses to take them Home, I'll cross that bridge as He leads. Simply knowing that people are praying for my wife and our girls is a great comfort to me. I read an abstract today on the psychosocial effects of aggressive early monitoring of mono-mono twins at an inpatient setting vs outpatient. In both groups there was reported high feelings of hopelessness, despair, and (in the outpatient group) guilt. I can't imagine someone going through this without God being with them. If you're going through this, turn to God. He is able to do anything. I'm not naively saying that God will grant you two healthy twins if you simply pray hard enough. No, I'm saying that He is a caring God and knows our pain, our anxieties, and our doubts.